All throughout high school I kept a journal, and a blog. More times than not, I'm always in shock. Like how did I keep up with it all? How did I not run out of things to say? Anyways I always titled the first page, "Here I am" I guess because it put me in my place, and made me realize to appreciate the moment, to really stop, love the here and now, instead of wishing for the future. Because well, if you think about it hard enough, somewhere in life this present was the future that you were looking towards. I quit writing once I reached college, because I ultimately thought that I already knew exactly who I was and where I was. Funny how that was actually not the case at all. And as my teacher from my English 101 class made us write our final paper on who we were and what made us that person, I could see that I really had no idea who I was anymore. Last March, I decided to start a new blog. That helped me more than I can even explain. Those ninety-two posts really opened my eyes to the type of person I could be, but also the person I already am. My desires. My wants. My goals. My feelings. My ideas.
My life all laid out there in black and white. Re-reading it makes me realize I knew who I was, I know who I am when I'm honest out loud. Someone once said, the music you listen to is the type of person you become, but I think that it's the same with writing. I think we live in a society where anything less than perfection is unworthy. Which is why people are shallow. Which is why people don't understand how to be open. Which is why there is a lack of communication. Which is why we refuse to let people see our faults and those things which make us have depth. Because we fear criticism. If that weren't the case there would be a dislike button next to those likes. And like is more shallow than loving. Loving takes commitment. Maybe that's just me, maybe that's just my view on this modern day social networking. But that's okay, because this blog is mine, and that's how I feel.
With the start of this new year, it's a start to a new and better person. New beginnings means new opportunities to not only find myself, but to create myself to be the person I've always wanted to be.
