I want to emphasize,
You must be rather careful, and make sure you fall in love with someone who understands just how special you are. You cannot allow yourself to have just any person give you affection and devotion, but you must fall in love with someone special too. Although the giddy height of possibilities may be there, you have to plant and ground yourself to see what it is that you want so badly of the outcome of whatever relationship that you're in.
I admit, infatuation has caught me off guard on several occasions, one minute your perfectly fine, alone and you're comfortable with that. Then next, out of nowhere, you're head over heals, sweetly paralyzed from the dizziness and dazzlement of emotions, of the new person who is trying so badly to make an impact on your life. Before you know it, you want to spend quite a bit of time with that person. But weeks down the road, months down the road, you come to the realization that you're trying to place this person in a spot that doesn't work, almost as though you came so close to having the puzzle complete but you're trying to put one piece where there should be another. Without fail, you find yourself back at square one, alone and getting back to re-focusing on yourself, your wants, your job, your life and what you want it to become. It may take some time, but then you find yourself sheepishly, or more than ever willingly to jump, dive, and swim back in the dating pool.
Dating is more than going out to dinner, and having someone to call after work to hear about what happened that day. Dating is more than having someone to tell you your hair looks nice, and they enjoy having your company. Dating is the search to find someone to be on a whole different level of security. Finding someone, trusting that person, and letting your raw emotion be placed into the hands of your other, in hopes that they'll care for, protect, and stand besides you, wanting to somehow become so connected that it's really just, electrifying. That what I want, to have someone make me feel alive and electric, and although I have yet to ever experience a love so deep, I know it's out there. I know that I'll find someone who can give me that undeniable rush, and I'll do the same for them. There will be someone who can make me feel at peace in their harbour of love when the waters of uncertainty, or trials sweep in. The whole point of love is to find someone who you can grow with. Someone who get's where you are, and where you want to end up. You share that mutual final destination, you share the willingness to reach where it is.
The person I end up with, for good, not just a mere year, or even 6 or 4 months, the person I love, and I physically cannot live without, will know me, maybe not every detail of me at first, but they will try. The man I will love forever will be great, with all his ideals and actions that every poet and author would dream of writing about, but until then, I'll keep writing these letters to myself, letters to you, and letters to him, to keep in my memory that although I haven't found him yet, I will find him, and I will love him completely when I do. That he has that one thing I cannot deny, he knows I'm special, and he is special too, that we were molded and made for each other, connected perfectly in our flaws, desires, and dreams.
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